Wow. A post not about men.

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Summer.

It is a time of joy. Green grass, flip flops, sunshine, being tan, birds, flowers, fresh fruit and vegetables, no school work, those awesome red white and blue rocket popsicle things…

Summer is a carefree and wonderful season.

False.

Don’t get me wrong, I love summer, it competes with winter as my favorite season, and I think it might win just because ice cream and popsicles always taste better when its hot out. You know what the best popsicles are? I’m sure right now you’re thinking ab0ut those dove chocolate things, or the expensive strawberry-all-natural-with-real-fruit-chunks-so-you-don’t-feel-bad-about consuming-so-much-sugar ones, but the ultimate popsicles are those cheap ass mega packs that come in banana, bubble gum, cotton candy, and root beer flavors. Yes I’m fucking serious. They are all the best flavors of all time, and the colors are all pastel and gross looking but you pop one of those in your mouth and its pure ecstasy. They are just so good. Yeah frozen bubble gum water sounds nasty. And pink is a gross color. But you mix them together and put it on a stick and you come up with ambrosia of the gods.

So after that rant you must be wondering why I’m such a Debbie Downer on the season that has an entire playlist devoted to it on my itunes. Well the reason summer sucks because it is the most stressful part of the year.

Full time job. Hectic work out schedule. Living with parents. High school friends. And yes, a complete absence of worthwhile boys.

Duh I wish I was a hot Asian chick just chilling on the beach with beer all summer...

Whenever I imagine summer I think of tubing down the river, going swimming, eating watermelon, and hanging out with my two friends that I genuinely like that I went to high school with. Sadly, these events are a rare occasion for me and many other young adults my age, who are trying to pay for college, which happens to take priority over a 30 of bud lite with lime. Full time work gets you up early, and having to train for sports gets you up ahead of that. And by the time you’re home from work at 6 you’re so fucking exhausted that going out and being molested by the boys in your small town and gaining a reputation as the biggest slut in a 35 mile radius just doesn’t sound appealing… I mean, not that I would know or anything, I’m just posing a hypothetical outcome.

During my summers, I always end up too extreme on either side of the summer spectrum, its a very narrow path to follow or else you end up as one or the other of the different perspectives of “Summer Lovin” by Danny and Sandy from Grease.

Let the stress begin.

Peace out Scouts

Maneater

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Tags: beach, beer, bud lite with lime, debbie downer, exercise, ice cream, popsicles, summer, summer lovin', work