Let’s recap. I love the first two classes of a course, AKA syllabus classes. Why? This should be literally a no-brainer: little to no homework, discussion, critical thinking, note-taking or general academic functioning. But all of this comes at a price.
You see, there’s always the introductions. You stand up, say your name, your year, your major, why you’re taking the class, and a “fun fact” about yourself. Introductions are therefore vital to my assessment on how dreadful and/or zoo-worthy a class will be. I mean, you really seal the deal with how much people hate you in your introduction. Numero Uno are the girls who are Biochem-Fine Arts double majors with a minor in Government and are taking the class “because I went to Africa and this is just, like, really relevant there and I really want to, like, help Africa” and then their fun fact is some invariably stupid inside joke about their aloe plant named Allen or how they love to ski. It doesn’t help that they’re rocking hair bows and obnoxiously huge fake pearls. Who do you think you are, white girl? Michelle O?
Besides the you’ve got your standard Random Senior Who Will Smoke The Bell Curve, the Pimply Kid That Won’t Shut Up And Will Contradict The Professor, the Silent Serial Killer, the Slacking Stoners Who Don’t Give A Fuck, the Rhino Corner Guys, etcetera etcetera. Then there are the kids who really throw you for a loop. This one guy behind me in Evironmental managed to get through the basics without encouraging my scorn until he dropped this bomb: “I guess my fun fact is that I’m an alternate for the US Olympic ski jumping team.” Dude, what a bitch move. Totally blew all our fun facts out of the water. Carlie was going to tell us about her shih-tzu and you completely ruined that for her.
-L
oh how I miss the Zoo.